Tag Archives: rant

“I’m tired of men who aren’t professional or even accomplished musicians continually offering to ‘help me out’ (without being asked), as if i did this by accident and i’m gonna flounder without them. … I’m sad that my desire to be treated as an equal and as a human being is interpreted as hatred of men, rather than a request to be included and respected.”

Excerpts from a blog post/rant by Grimes (the stage name of Claire Boucher), viewable in full on her Tumblr

Grimes – Tumblr rant

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Lard, “The Power of Lard”

Back in 1989 when the “Power of Lard” EP came out, the title song was my anthem. So it should go without saying that it was also the year I discovered acid. Lard is to LSD what milk is to chocolate. Or at least that was the thinking at the time.

I bought this the day it hit the display window at the local record shop (just kidding). I do remember that I could only get the record store clerk to play maybe 20 seconds of the EP, but it didn’t matter — I was buying it anyway. For one thing, there’s a lamprey on the cover. ‘Nuff said.

But mostly, it’s because I was a devout follower of Ministry at the time and Al Jourgensen and two other members were on board (and three others would join, including Rey Washam, before Lard fizzled out in the early 2000s). And they earned their keep.

“The Power of Lard” is about as pleasant as listening to a Jello Biafra rant ever gets. Granted, the song came out in 1989, still early in Jello’s spoken-word era. Sure, it’s a bitter song — bemoaning the bleak landscape of capitalism for non-moguls — but he doesn’t yet sound like he’d be the scary guy building a bunker at the end of your block, were it not for his platform.

The absurdities regarding our corporate overlords still feel fresh and bubbly in his rascally rasp, as exhibited in the lines:

“Ever hear about the guy in New York whose dick fell off in the bath after he shot it full of coke?
It’s okay to run out of butter in Zambia
Just smear squashed caterpillars on your toast
Waiter, there’s a terrorist in my soup
Which came first: Max Headroom or Gerald Ford?
Are you a man or are you a mouse?
If you love your fun, die for it!
Die for Lard!”

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Stupid music subgenres rant

Stupid music subgenres rant

I blame the Internet.

Lately, when researching bands on Wikipedia and Allmusic, I’ve been noticing scads of new musical subgenres. Some, such as “post hardcore,” are downright embarrassing.

Sure, we’ve all gotten used to the terms “post rock” and “post punk” by now, but seeing “post hardcore” in print like that makes all three terms look lubberly. How about post pop? Pre rock? “Post garage” could be when you make it out of the garage.

Allmusic describes post hardcore as music that is “guitar heavy,” is performed by bands with “do-it-yourself ethics,” employs “complex and dynamic ways of blowing off steam that generally [fall] outside the strict hardcore realm of ‘loud fast rules'” and is open to the occasional “whispered croon.” So not only is the title stupid, but so is the definition. The “croon” observation is perhaps the best attempt at something meaningful — or at least distinguishable.

I honestly don’t think “post hardcore” would have made it into the music-genre club if it hadn’t been for Al Gore. If the Internet didn’t exist, not even Rolling Stone would be stooping to “Idiocracy”-speak. But now the long-lobotomied magazine uses the term to describe At the Drive-In and Hot Water Music — bands, by the way, whose names are bland descriptions rather than actual titles (which gives me an idea for another rant).

If that’s not bad enough, Wikipedia describes “Nintendocore” as music that “fuses aggressive styles of modern rock with chiptune [8-bit music] and video game music.” Sounds more like a fetish than a music genre.

“Core,” by the way, is a gold mine in the genre-naming game. There’s also electroniccore, metalcore, sadcore, breakcore, glitchcore, terrorcore, noisecore … and then I stopped looking.

A few more I have to mention to see if I can make your eyes bug out are experimental metal, new rock revolution, New Weird America, electro-house, new rave and power noise (also referred to as power noize).

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