Tag Archives: quotes

“I once proposed the construction of an apparatus which would have been a cross between a gallows and an old-fashioned shower stall. The shower curtain was to have been an American flag, and behind it, hanging from the gallows, was to be a side of beef (at room temperature). I proposed to roll this out at the end of each show, play a fanfare and open the curtain, releasing flies into the audience.”

Frank Zappa, detailing his early exploits, circa the summer of 1967, which he referred to as “the early Mothers of Invention ‘entertainment statement,'” and also included ACTUAL rotting vegetables and whipped cream covering a stage in a stuffy, AC-less, run-down Greenwich Village theater the band was regularly gigging at that summer, detailed in his autobiography, “The Real Frank Zappa Book”

Frank Zappa – meat flies

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“Where are you? Children, are you walking through the air that is 50 degrees wrong? Are you walking under the tampered sky in the 10th year of no rain? We are millions trying to get dressed and go to work as screams travel back and forth inside our bodies, as our own shock and disbelief pulls on our faces. We push in the earbuds, Adele sings ‘Rolling in the Deep.'”

Bill Tale — better known as Reverend Billy, leader of the Church of Stop Shopping — in his 2012 book, “The End of the World”

Reverend Billy – Adele

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“It is for anyone who has ever had any interest in combining the joie de vivre that is the vigorous bouncing of one’s anatomical/spiritual/energetic molecules with the existential absurdity that is living in a world/country/economic system of injustice, war-mongering, and cultural ineptitude. Oh wait, that’s you. If you feel like it: come in your own crazy aerobics costume, whatever that means to you. Taste the sweat.”

Excerpt from The Knife’s announcement of its upcoming “Shaking the Habitual” tour, viewable in full here

The Knife – “Shaking the Habitual” tour

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“One night, I don’t even know what the fuck happened, but hell came to get me again. It was in a dream. I wrote these songs (that became the 1998 album, “Moon Pix”) that night, waiting for the sun to rise, because my house was surrounded by 150 trillion spirits pressing against my glass, trying to get in. It was fucked up and really horrifying. The songs were just like evidence.”

Chan Marshall, aka Cat Power, in a September 2012 interview with The Fader website, which you can read in full here

Cat Power – Moon Pix

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“I’d go to hell to hear a good band.”

Cornet player Bix Beiderbecke, writing to his brother in 1921. Bix was notable for ushering in the jazz world’s space-race age by being jazz’s first genuinely gifted white jazz musician in the early ’20s.

Bix Beiderbecke – jazz space race

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“Armstrong’s scatting almost drove the English language out of the Windy City for good.”

Clarinet player (and owner of one of the best names ever) Mezz Mezzrow, referring to trumpet/cornet player Louis Armstrong’s impromptu scat singing on a 1926 recording of “Heebie Jeebies.” Armstrong didn’t invent scat singing, he wasn’t the first to record it, and the jury will always be out as to whether its use on the song was accidental or not — but one thing is certain: “Heebie Jeebies” set the jazz world on fire, at least in Chicago, where Satchmo was living and playing at the time.

Louis Armstrong – Scat singing

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Barack Obama, with a copy of "Trout Mask Replica"

Barack Obama, with a copy of “Trout Mask Replica”

“The way Don got his ‘stage name’ was, [his] Uncle Alan had a habit of exposing himself to [Don’s girlfriend] Laurie. He’d piss with the bathroom door open and, if she was walking by, mumble about his appendage — something along the lines of: ‘Ahh, what a beauty! It looks just like a big, fine beef heart!‘”

Frank Zappa, discussing his friend Don Van Vliet — aka Captain Beefheart — in his 1989 autobiography, “The Real Frank Zappa Book”

Frank Zappa – Capt. Beefheart

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“I don’t blame Helen and the rest of womankind for being so mad. All men but me are puds. What I’d like to see is an all-girl band that would sing lyrics like ‘I’ll cut your nuts off, you cretins,’ and then jump into the audience and beat the shit out of the men there. Meanwhile, Helen’s chops are up: she’s no artist, she’s a constant pulsation, 50,000 watts of Helen Reddy arcing into diffusion with a glow that touches ever stucco nautilus in every housing project from here to Bobby Goldsboro’s composite dream suburb. … Helen is a beacon, the perfect Seventies incarnation of Miss Liberty herself in pantsuit and bowler crooning for America in a voice like the tenderest walls brushing together — the real velvet underground.”

Lester Bangs, in a review of Helen Reddy’s album, “Long Hard Climb,” in the August 1974 issue of Creem

Lester Bangs – Helen Reddy

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“Here’s the thing about Canada – you have to have at least eight members in your band to leave some sort of major impression, e.g. Fucked Up, Broken Social Scene, Arcade Fire, etc. I think it’s a number thing, like the Canada Arts Council is obsessed with numerology. Maybe they’re a bunch of witches taxing people who buy burnt CDs.”

Andrea Lukic, singer/bassist for Canadian band Nu Sensae, in an interview with blaremagazine.com, viewable in full here. Photo was taken from here.

Andrea Lukic – Nu Sensae

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“You know how they say smell is your No. 1 sensory memory? Well, It wasn’t just the Fugees’ song that sets me off. He’s like, ‘Your car smells like Funions.’ And I’m like, ‘Well, my dog — ’cause I named my dog Funions, ’cause he likes to eat Funions all the time. He’s like, ‘No, I didn’t know your dog name was Funions,’ and I said, ‘Yeah, I named my dog Funions, ’cause he eats Funions all the time.’ He goes, ‘No, I was just talking about Funions.’ So, every time I feed my dog, I think of Zach. That draws me in more than any Fugees song. It’s always Fugees and Funions.”

Zach Galifianakis’ “twin brother” Seth Galifianakis, in a segment from his “Live at the Purple Onion” stand-up film. View the complete skit here.

Zach Galifianakis – Fugees and Funions

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